Friday, 24 January 2014

The Kriegys 2013 - 1st Annual Vomkrieg awards!

Welcome to the first annual Kriegy awards. Yep, it’s award season and as I have complete and utter contempt for any awards I decided to do my own.

Why? Well, it’s because as far as I’m concerned my opinion is as valid as anyone else’s. So if you have issues with that, I suggest you take it up the with esteemed Kriegy awards committee*

*note….. that’s me

Anywho, this is totally and 100% my view on stuff. So, without further fanfare, the awards!

P.S all awards are based on stuff I have seen and done in the last year, I don’t really care when stuff was initially done or when it was released.

The "F**k this, I give up" award

For model that most made me want to give up painting because anything I do will not be as cool as that.

That's it, I give up.
 This goes to Kong Quest, an insanely well painted Khador Konquest conversion. I mean seriously, this thing is freaking amazing and completely demoralizing at the same time. 

The "What am I even looking at" award

For model that made me think the sculptor was smoking crack or just really really high. 

I give you, the POOP-BOT 4000

Stahp, just stahp
I nearly went with the Space Marine Centurions, as they are breath takingly stupid models, or any number of recent space marine vehicles that look like lunchboxes with guns on them. 

But I was persuaded not to by the ginger ninja. The comment below is not a quote, more of a summation of the essence of his feelings on the matter. 

So dumb
"Look... it's a giant killer robot taking a dump, and they modelled it taking a dump, so all over the world people will have giant robots floating on poo piles"

Oh yeah, runners up are pictured here as well......

Sad work people, sad. 

The Axos the Dark Rose memorial award

For best role-playing game book and or supplement.

I've played some good RPG's this year and i'll give an Honorable shout out to the runners up. 

1st up, Dark heresy. The system is a bit poo and all over the show, and the less said about the 2nd edition beta we took part in the better. Fun game, but I think that's more to do with the setting and the GM than the materials provided. 

2nd, Monster of the week from

This game is really good fun, it's basically all of those urban fantasy settings (Buffy, Supernatural, Dresden files) rolled into one easy to play, pulp experience. Strongly recommend it. 

The winner however, is the new Iron Kingdoms. 

Finally, someone makes an RPG that can works with similar rules to the tabletop wargame it's based on without it being a mess. Dark heresy, Warhammer fantasy roleplay and mechwarrior all failed compared to Iron Kingdoms. 

That, and the book is really really nice. 

The "Ghandi-Mandela" award

For the person who showed the best character on the receiving end of a complete thrashing from me during a game. 

That's a lot of blue models.... and not much else
No one likes losing games, most people play to win and I admire those people who can take a loss with great character and have a laugh about it at the end. I try my best not to be a dick in victory or defeat, but i'm nowhere near perfect. 

So this award goes to the person I thought showed awesome character in defeat. 

Scott Avery, for my "pantsing" of you at Nationals this year, crushing your army off the board while only taking a single model in loss, I salute you.

In Scott's defence he had hit the Scotch a bit hard the night before and was looking very very seedy through the whole proceedings. 

Seriously though, next time we play he's gonna double kick my ass now i've posted this. 

The "leading cause of paper cuts this year" award

For best card game of the year

Well, a lot of good candidates here as well, but one clear winner. 

I'll give honourable mentions to Smash Up, Blood Bowl Team Manager and the Star Wars LCG. But anyone who knows me in real life knows that there is only one card game that i dribble on about endlessly. 

Android Netrunner. 

Seriously, go out and buy it, it's a real brain stretcher and intense to play. I just love the asymetric nature of the game as well as the bluff/counter bluff aspect to the game. 

The "what if I told you" award

For card/model/expansion that completely altered the metagame for a system. 

For a while I considered the Stormwall collosal from Warmachine. It has changed the Cygnar faction a lot and earned much love and hate from warmachine players. 

That said, Stormwall only appears in Cygnar lists and Jackson "FREAKING" Howard appears in just about every single corporate deck in netrunner these days. 

He's a game changer for the corporation and, quite simply, changed the nature of the game as soon as he arrived. 

Honestly, i'm sick of his smug little toy peddling face and want the game to introduce a "shoot Jackson Howard in the face" card.

The "Toy soliders are serious business!" award

For miniatures game of the year

Ha! I bet you thought I was going to pick Warmachine as this blog has a lot of Warmachine focus. 

Well, I didn't. I picked the X-wing miniatures game, and here is a laundry list of good reasons.

  • it comes with all the stuff you need to play, 
  • It's easy to learn, but difficult to master
  • the pre-painted models are pretty darned sharp
  • It scales well from small ship battles to pretty big engagements
  • It has customization and list building that creates challenges 
The only kicker is getting enough models as they keep selling like hotcakes. 

Y-wing are a different kind of sexy :)

The "Crack peddler" award

For best local supplier

This is a tricky one, so I think I should mention a few names. 

Mark one is still my preferred source for comics, but logistically i prefer to get boardgames and stuff elsewhere. 

Cerberus games just opened in my home town, I guess i'll need more time to evaluate them.

So, this year it is Seriously Board

Dave at seriously Board was set a challenge by the local Android netrunner community to get the cards for each expansion in as early as possible. Most recently they spoiled the expansion for the world by being the very first supplier, in the world, to get the goods.

That, and he has pretty good prices too. 

The "Sean Lincoln service to gaming in the community" award

Goes to........ Sean Lincoln!
King of Gamers..... king of men :)

All the press gangers for Warmachine in Wellington do a dam fine job, so respect to Scott and Chris as well. 

But Sean runs a weekly session, almost without fail with 4-8 games going in one night. He lets 15 odd sweaty gamers into his house, every week, and helps build and foster a great gaming atmosphere. 

Although I haven't been over much in the last year, I credit the environment Sean has created at his place for a lot of my overall enthusiasm for Warmachine. 

He's a good bastard!

The "What shall we do tonight, Pinky" award

For best boardgame of the year

It's still BSG
So this is for the game that I will never pass down a shot to play if there is time permitting. 

Yep, it's still Battlestar Gallactica. I know there were no awards last year but if there were it woudl have won then as well. 

Dammit, this game is so much fun with the right crowd. And the recent expansions have added a few wrinkles that have kept the game fresh. It's just a damned fine experience. 

P.S this game brought us the word INCOMPUTREACH. 

Where you are not sure if a player is being treacherous, or is just an incompetent muppet. 

The "Golden Kriegy" award

Overall winner For best game system of any kind for the year

Well, this was a hard call as i've enjoyed a lot of games this year. So i'll shout out to some of my favorites that didn't win.  X-wing, Smash up, Red Dragon inn, Iron Kingdoms, Dark heresy, Battlestar Gallactica, Blood Bowl team Manager, Star Wars Card Game, Castle Panic, and a bucket load more. 

But no game has grabbed me as much as Android Netrunner this last year. I play online.... a lot, i fiddle with decks while watching TV, and generally talk about it a fair bit. 

So congrats to Netrunner for winning an award of ABSOLUTELY NO CONSEQUENCE. 

Have a potato!


  1. Giving some serious thought to picking up a copy of Netrunner...


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